Complete sincerity: You believe in being
straightforward with others, and you expect the
same from them. People would consider you a
good listener, and one who is calm and mostly
serious.


Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla


Very True... i'm very staightforward... but im not so sure about the "calm and mostly serious" part. I'm actually very lighthearted and laid back...to me... Life is to short to be so serious all the time.

Which Annoying Two Towers Character are You?
By Lisa


Misguided eh? well.. you better hope i'm on your side then... because whenever I'm against you... I usually prove to be a worthwhile rival. 8)!



Congratulations! You're Faramir!


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Yeah... I can be a jerk at times... but I still have my humble side...



You are Legolas!


Which Lord of the Rings Personality Are You? (With Pics and a Variety of Outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla


Wow... 2 out of 3... I came up as Faramir... it must be so. 8)! This result has me dead on the mark! (well... all except for the quiet part...)

okay guys... this is just an idea... nothing more.. yet...

While I was laying in my bed yesterday... I had an idea of maybe a pretty good combination to use to start another band. Here's what I got so far...

Bassist = Me (of course...)
Guitar = Ryan
Drums = Rick
Keyboard = The Goob...
Guitar = Brandon or matt (not quite sure on either of these two)

I think everyone would be pretty compatiable with the exception of brandon/matt without rick. Rick's drumming goes pretty kick ass with my bass flow... but im not sure if he would be able to adapt to ryan's style of playing.

Once again... This is just an idea...

RAHHH! God motherf*cking damnit! Moments like these make me want to strangle my f*cking father to death! *clinches fist and tries to calm self.* I literally f*cking hate him with a passion... how many of you all out there can actually say that truthfully with no regrets? *sigh*... what a "great" christmas turned out to be...

I'm literally more than ready to disappear again... damn my oath to Marisol. Well... thank god that oath only last for 5-6 more days... if your wondering about the oath.... im not exactly in the mood to re-explain it... so if you just have to know... then go searching through my old posts.

My dad's an idiot... my mom's even worst... and my half brother Carlos... has gained neutral terms with me. It seems the only people in my immediate family that I can stand is my bro Rick and my half sis Sylvia... and even they drive me mad at times... but of course.. that's to be expected... we are sibilings after all.

DAMNIT! nothing is ever f*cking good enough... there is literally nothing worst than a father with "high standards"... "high"as in being insecure with himself... and always trying to look good in everyone elses eye's... always caring what people think of him... he's nothing more than a shallow... soulless sheep!

There is probably nothing more that a person can do that makes me have little respect for and almost completely dislike them than them being a follower who is afraid and too "weak" to stand up for what they believe in. Has this world literally gone mad!

IT'S OKAY TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX! STOP LETTING EVERYONE ELSE MAKE YOUR DECISIONS FOR YOU! STAND UP FOR WHO YOU ARE... STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE... AND PULL AWAY FROM THE SHEPERD KNOW AS CORPORATE AMERICA!

I'm sorry... I don't mean the vent all my anger onto you (the reader) but the main reason I made these damn weblogs is to get alot of my anger off my mind. Yes... I said weblogs... meaning more than one... sadly... this is the pubic one that everyone has access to. I have another for special eyes only... don't ask for me to let you in that one.. because the ONLY way your ever going to see it is if I give you invitation to it... and no amount of begging is going to help your case... that's just going to irritate me more... guaranteeing that you never see it.

This is a quite interesting result indeed.

According to the SelectSmart.com Belief System Selector, my #1 belief match is Neo-Pagan. What do you believe? Visit SelectSmart.com/RELIGION

Your Results:

1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
click here for more info

2. New Thought (95%)
click here for more info

3. Scientology (91%)
click here for more info

4. New Age (89%)
click here for more info

5. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (85%)
click here for more info

6. Mahayana Buddhism (84%)
click here for more info

7. Unitarian Universalism (83%)
click here for more info

8. Theravada Buddhism (76%)
click here for more info

9. Reform Judaism (71%)
click here for more info

10. Mainline - Liberal Christian Protestants (66%)
click here for more info

11. Liberal Quakers (65%)
click here for more info

12. Hinduism (60%)
click here for more info

13. Sikhism (59%)
click here for more info

14. Secular Humanism (56%)
click here for more info

15. Taoism (53%)
click here for more info

16. Bahá'í Faith (36%)
click here for more info

17. Jainism (36%)
click here for more info

18. Orthodox Judaism (32%)
click here for more info

19. Non-theist (26%)
click here for more info

20. Orthodox Quaker (26%)
click here for more info

21. Mainline - Conservative Christian Protestant (24%)
click here for more info

22. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (23%)
click here for more info

23. Islam (23%)
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24. Eastern Orthodox (19%)
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25. Roman Catholic (19%)
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26. Jehovah's Witness (13%)
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27. Seventh Day Adventist (3%)
click here for more info

# posted by Kyrenx : Wednesday, December 24, 2003, 12/24/2003 02:08:00 PM

__________________ ____________________ ____________________

No more smiling and putting up with snot nosed bargain seekers for me... I quit my job at Wal-Mart today! What a waste of time that was... I like wal-mart and all... but I never want to work there again... and i'm keeping the blue vest...muwhahahaha!

hmmm... life has slowed down a bit... but I guess that's for the best. It feels a bit ackward with it almost being Christmas and the New Year rolling around... I mean... don't take me wrong or anything... but this is the first year in like 5-6 years that i'm going through this "time of the year" without a girlfriend. Not that i'm complaining or anything (because it seems more of relief not being obligated to buy that "special someone" a present) but as I said it just feels weird and ackward.

ahh... my friends keep saying that i'm resembling the character Spike from Cowboy Bebop more and more by each passing day because of my crazy hair. I'll be sure to beat them later...

hmmm.... Christmas draws ever closer... and for some reason... I could careless. With so much happening right now... life is just becoming a constant blur. Life was so much easier back during the days while I was still playing in New Moon Insanity... sucks how we all literally went our seperate ways.. because I believe that byfar was my best and most favorite band. Guillermo went to California... I had started GTBM.... Matt joined Edgebrook... and Rick filled his schedule with work. So much potential... all wasted away...

Current Song: "Yellow Pole" by New Moon Insanity

It's weird... how when I close the door to my room... no one can hear any sound come out. Accordingly a couple of people called me yesterday and my dad didn't realize I was home... even though I was blaring Manson in my room while playing Lufia 2. I swear... I thought I was only playing for an hour or two... but when I checked the clock... I realized I had been playing from 4pm to 11pm. That's alot of wasted time (for me at least). Funny... how my dad told everyone I probably went to Guillermo's house... but I guess you didnt remember that Guillermo left for Cali. I'm going to have an interesting conversation today with all that called yesterday. Other than that... the day was quite boring...

No more waiting... I'm going to call up brandon, marcus and some others to see if they want to go see Lord of the Rings: Return of the king tonight. Normally I see new anticipated movies at midnight on opening night... but I was broke this time. I found some extra money that should cover the charge... with my student discount that is. muwhahahahahaha!

Yeah... I was actually out shopping for presents... *gasp*... okay now get out it... Yeah... I bought 2 Gamecube games for my nephews (Little Ricky, Anthony, & Chris) but I really could decided on what to get my neice (Ashley). Sylvia (their mother, my older sis) said if I was going to buy her anything for me to buy her a toy... now... what in the hell is a baby that age going to play with? I figured... hmmm... maybe I could get her... her first doll... no barbie... that's for god damn sure. I'm pretty sure she's going to be shocked at the doll I did get her... a plush doll of Gene Simmons. If she wanted something more girly... then she should have asked someone else.... so I got her a plush of the bassist of KISS. Even though I'm not a big fan of KISS... what else was there to get her? oh well...

On other news... I really need to get ahold of Brandon and Marcus to see when they want to go camping... If you all haven't noticed already... I love to be in the woods. If I could be a hermit and live alone in the woods... i'd probably do it.

People to ask... (if any of you who read this before I contact you... let me know if your interested... and those not on the list who want to go... let me know... i'll see what I can do)

>Brandon
>Marcus
>Rick
>Goober
>James
>Claude
>Korey

Besides all that... I still need to find out what everyone wants to do for New Years. (NO... im not going with Johanna this year... so i'll be put for something... just let me know)

Damnit... my job would be great if it weren't for all the dumb ass customers. I just got in from work if you couldn't notice. grrrr... working at Wal-Mart during a "Christmas shopping season" once again proves to be very nerve wrecking. What really pisses me off is that I had to re-organize the damn cd case rack at least 4-6 times today... and technically it's not even my department. At least I don't have to work around the toy isles... that must extreme hell these days. I am seriously going nuts at that spaceous, florescent lighted store... I may end up quiting before long. Why did I ever leave the bookstore/coffeeshop for a Wal-Mart... i'll never know... wait a minute... yeah I do... the better pay and benefits... man... I seriously need to become an entrepenuer... I don't think i'll ever find happiness in these dead end jobs... I already know what your all thinking... "work shouldn't be fun... it's work..." but hey.... that's not the way I operate... well... for long periods at least.

On other news... apparently the finally caught Saddam... but if I wasn't mistaken... wasn't Bin Laden our first and prime target? *shakes head in disappoint*... I really have no idea how a war in Afganistan ended up with the seize of Iraq. oh... but he's probably just finishing up "daddy's little war"... [Hint: Sarcasm]

I've said this before and i'll say it again... we have some serious idiots in control of our country. Personally... this is a rare case but... i'm ashamed that George Bush Jr. came from Texas. I blame inbreeding. There's no other way to explain that man's extreme incompetence.

His father is no genius either... and how these crazy red neck hicks got in control of our country only proves how many idiotic people we actually have that actually get swayed by all this f*cking "party propaganda". I mean... what in the hell is the point of voting if your only going to vote a straight ticket vote? Leave the voting to those of us who actually take the time to understand and hear the issues that are at hand instead of screwing everybody with your "political party pride." It's not a two-party system people!

I better stop before I really have to pull out my soap box and really end up going on a rant.

Current Song: "One" by Metallica

Well.... today has been a pretty slow day. Way too quiet if you ask me... but hey... I guess everybody needs a slow day every once in a while. I'm done with my first semester already... although I'm pretty sure i'm going to have alot of problems to go back to when the 2nd semester comes around. With my multiplug box still outside lighting up half of the christmas lights outside... im still stuck here trying to post this blog for the third time. I've forgot practically all that I was going to say... so I guess this blog is just a waste of your time as well as mine.

Hey everyone! Sorry if I neglected alot of my friends but I had alot of studying to do for my finals (Yes... me study... and no I dont mean playing video game... has hell frozen over yet? oh well...) Maybe I should drop by the South Houston Fencing Club next monday... just to see what they're up to... probably pretending to fence again... *shakes head in dissapointment* what a waste of time...

For some reason... I've been having lyric thoughts and all sorts of rythms just jumping in my head... it's hard to write them all down... they're practically all starting to merge together now that i've found a pencil. grrrr... just my luck... I quit a band and get full of inspiration. Bah! oh well... back to the good old drawing board. I may just take this leave of mine for all that's its worth and get as much inspiration as I can. .... ahh... my hair tastes horrible... lousy hair... i'm done ranting so you may go away now... go on... I said go... fine... maybe you'll leave if I stop
typing ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... not working huh... oh well... laterz!

Why has life become so dull and meaningless? My life seems to be at a stalemate... I not ahead but nor am I losing either. As of this morning, I quit from my new band the Darkstar Prophets. I wish them the best of luck... and i'm sure they can pull something off without me...

I just can't do it anymore. Music has consumed my life... i've been to the edge of fame and back... and everywhere I go... I feel that I'm growing weary of all that I see. Why do I seldomly find happiness in anything anymore. Now in days, there's very little to smile about. My depression seems to be building again... ignorance is bliss... but I never want to forget all that I've learn just for happiness. I feel tortured and demented... lost and afraid of what's to become of a man who's life was nothing but music and art... that has lost all inspiration and desire to write, craft and create. *sigh*.... life's a bitch... love is suicide... and I am nobody... wishing to not to be remembered. How many people can actually say that they don't want to be remember... how many actually couldn't care either way. Why do I wallow in my troubles during a season of joy and happiness. Why do I grow bi-polar... like Shawnann once was before her departure. I wish not to die but care not to live just as well.... does my life have any meaning besides as the idea of being a sideshow freak to made an example of for all the rest to know what not to become?

My fortune cookie for today says, "Generosity and perfection are your assets and they show."

This couldn't have been anymore right.... I despise myself for caring too much about what I think instead of what others think. It's a bitter sweet trait. Here's a bit of insight to my mind...


Memberable Events in my life (In no particular order):

1) The final brutal fight with my eldest half-brother Carlos that lead to both of our hospitalization

2) My band the New Moon Insanity opened for the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (a crowd of at least +500 people)

3) The day I went to SPCA and bought my dog "Champ"... he's still by far my most favorite/treasured gift (given to me by my Grandma Delia)

4) The day I found my cat "Smokey" cold and starving under my old truck.

5) October 12, 2000 - Shawnann's suicide

6) January 17, 2002 - The night I survived a suicide attempt...

7) The first time I kissed Johanna.

8) My trip to Florida (I saw an anonymous man get hit by a car... then run over by another car... and I was the only one who stopped to help him... he died right in front of me as we awaited the paramedic's arrival)

9) My trip to New York(for new year's... I saw 3 people die during my stay at the hotel)

10) April 1, 2000 - The day my nephew Carlos Mata Jr. got killed in a car accident by a drunk driver (he wasn't even 1 year old yet...)


I've experienced too much death for someone my age. My palms have been drenched in blood, and my lips have tasted the bitterness of poison... why does "god" have me here? What does this all mean? *sigh* all I really care to know is the answer to this one straight forward question..."why?"

Yea... I'm getting the same old problems from my new band Darkstar Prophets. (It's only a temporary name... so dont think into it too much.) I have every important essential to make this band successful except a definite guitarist. I know guitarist are a dime a dozen... but why settle for any guitarist when I really want one with moderate skill (knows more than just power chords & a little bit of musical theory) who has dedication (A MUST!). Too many guitarists that i've auditioned have to clique of a sound (super pop or trashy wanna-be metal... I need someone with a jazz or blues feel please.) and/or can't play the audition piece that i've provided due to hammerons, pulls, off beats and skill level. How can a bassist out play a guitarist on guitar? I'd feel like sh*t if I were them. I'm almost losing my desire to want to make this band work. I just got myself into a pissy mood so i'm going to stop before I start destroying things...

I finally got a chance to update the Kyren Productions website... and it's looking way kooler than it ever has. Course I put it at a new address but still plan on moving it a third time into an even better server for the unveiling. The old site is still there... only two articles are left on it... so there's not much to look at there.

I'm currently just bumming around and jamming out to some Zwan. I know... most people dislike Zwan... but I like them... they're just misunderestood... kinda like the Smashing Pumpkins were. Billy Corgan is way ahead of his time.

You read right... most of you all must think i'm crazy or an idiot or whatever other "name" you can think of to call me... and whether the "names" appropiate or not is really up to you. I'm not going to force anyone to view the world the way I see it. I'm just going to plant a little seed of doubt in your mind. Okay everybody... this is going to be more of a rant than an actual weblog post. so be prepared.

I'll give Phillip Morris Inc. credit for making such a popular commercial and getting around the system the way they did. What the hell am I talking about is what your still probably asking. well... think about it this sense... in america all tv commercials, cartoons, and ads in adolecent magazines promoting smoking cigarettes are prohibited by law. TRUTH.com claims to be against cigarettes in the of form of public service announcement, while I actually... it's keeping the idea of cigarettes on TV and in adolecent magazines. If it was only a public service announcement... it would only be shown at least once a day... night five times every hour. If your still not thinking... then think about this... why would Phillip Morris Inc. advertise so much against a day their own product in hopes of destroying themselves... if not... they were actually getting something in return. Think about it. If you have any comments, critism or curses... be sure to email me at chaoticgoblin@imaterrorist.com

Greetings everyone... right now... I'm still a bit tired, sore and in alot of pain from all the ferocity of today's tournament. Here's the first half of the results... (I didn't really care about the rest). Only the top 4 go onto to J.O.

Name / Rank / Club Affiliation

1. Spicer / B03 / Salle Mauro
2. Nicholas / D03 / Salle Mauro
3. M. Bernstien / C03 / South Houston
4. Carlton / D02 / Salle Mauro


3-E. M. Peña / D03 / South Houston
3-E. El-Saieh / D02 / Salle Mauro


okay... let me explain what all this means... straight up... I failed to make it to J.O. and all my hopes were shattered all after one final encounter.

This guy named Mike El-Saieh and I faced off in a bout (match) due to us being in a dead tie for 3rd place. We both fought our hardest and both gave it our all. When it came down towards the end... we both then came to an abletouche. (Abletouche = Tie match, next point wins) In fencing, during DE (direct elimination) it takes 15 points to win. On the final confrontation... tied 14-14, El-Saieh ran straight down the strip right at me and in an attempt to parry his flick/fleche (I couldn't tell what he was doing)... I pushed off to the left and he missed the point but slammed the blade of his sword into my ankle and I slammed the bellguard of my sword into his hand simaltaneosly... with the end result, me having a sprained ankle and him with a fractured hand/knuckle or something.

The tournament was put on halt because no winner from our bout could be determined. After a long and strainous debate... we (El-Saieh and I) were both deemed unable to continue due to serious injury and were eliminated from the tournament. Even though... I was a bit pissed off with the decision (I was really acting foolish because I wanted to finish on my sprain)... I'm at least glad to have opened the way for my best friend Marcus (who originally placed 5th) to place 3rd thus having his chance to go to J.O. after 3 long hard years of hard work - I wish him the best of luck... but I wish we both could have gone. *sigh* None the less... Good luck Marcus!...kick some @ss for me.

All I wanted was at least for anyone to get to J.O. other than someone from Salle Mauro. Thank god my friend Marcus was there to pick up my slack. Our (Marcus and I) plan was to coach each other and evaluate our opponents for each other to take down anyone in our path. We even made certian key wins and losses to prevent us from having to go against each other and it was so close... If I would have beaten El-Saieh, it would have placed Marcus in 4th due to the victory at the Abletouche, and we both would have made it. How you may ask... well... the system works off of points given verse points received as well as standard elimination. To lose 14-15, the 1 point would have dropped him behind Marcus because Marcus won his bout (match) against Ryan Carlton 15-5. (thus giving marcus a plus +10 initiative). In technical terms, It gets rather complicated and I don't feel like typing paragraphs so i'm going to stop here. But of course... what's done is done... I have a whole lifetime to think about the would of, could of, should of...

I guess my last chance now would be to appeal to the USFA committee and try to bend the system so that I may be able to fence the qualifier next year. With nothing being guaranteed, everything is at risk now...


QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"To live is to dream, and to die is to awake..."

~ Anonymous

I got my car back finally... a little too late to go to school... damn. I hope I pass that stupid Speech exam. The tournament is tomorrow morning and I am seriously freaking out... i'm making beginner mistakes... and i'm having way too much trouble getting a grip on myself. Damn... I hope they call it off due to inefficient representation and a violation of the safety codes on the USFA. I want Homsa to suffer... and a bit more time to get my head on straight. AAAHHH!... i'm literally losing myself right now... f*ck it... i'll post more later.

Greetings everyone... Guillermo is officially leaving tomorrow morning... and I unfortuately locked my keys in my car. Well... me, Guillermo, Rick and Brandon had a pretty crazy night... driving around downtown (in Brandon's car). Of course... my dad is going to be pissed that I left my car at Guillermo's house due to the whole locked thing... but it was bound to happen one of these days. I need to check to see if my coverage covers a locksmith fee. If it doesn't... then I won't be able to compete at the Qualifier on saturday. This is all so nerve wrecking... my lack of sleep and lack of food isn't helping either. I think I may seriously be developing a problem. But oh well...

On to some better news... I finally got the Pedernales Falls Photo Album up and running. The link is to the right under the links column.

The full album isn't complete because there's still a couple more I will be posting later on when I get around to it. well... Enjoy!

It draws ever closer to the weekend but I can't help but feel a slight dread... This is the first time in a long time that i've actually been afraid that I won't be ready for a tournament. heh... I can hardly believe that I've pysched myself out already... maybe because it's my last chance ever to try to make the olympics in fencing. Well... on the bright side... all this last minute training and stress has helped me get over or at least forget about alot of my other problems. The thought of failure makes my spine shiver... and seeing how I was so full of mistakes at the last tournament... I can't help but feel that I, along with my short lived little dream, am going to be torn apart. heh... I haven't felt this type of fear in so long. I guess I needed this little shock to remind me that I am still mortal after all... no matter how much life toughen's you out, your never invinsible. Ahhh... The weird unique mentality of a teenager... always thinking they're untouchable until tradegy strikes... and they wonder why. [hint: sarcasm]

Hmmm... my dad seems to be quite drunk right now... he just came in after a night at a comedy club or something about Chris Rock show... i dunno... but he's a bit tipsy and is expecting me to understand all of his rabblings.

Hey guys... here's a couple of tournaments that I should be competing at for the rest of the season. I'll probably add a couple more onto this later on but I have to focus on the Olympic Qualifier coming up this saturday. Wish me luck guys...


JUNIOR OLYMPIC QUALIFIER

Where: Salle Mauro Fencing Academy
When: December 7, 2003
Type: All (Foil, Sabre & Epee)
Fees: Approximately $15 (USFA Required)


SPRING OPEN TOURNAMENT

Where: Clear Lake Fencing Club
When: April 10, 2004
Type: Open Foil, Epee & Sabre
Fees: Approximately $15 (USFA Required)


"D" & UNDER FOIL TOURNAMENT

Where: South Houston High School
When: April 24, 2004
Type: Mixed Foil
Fees: Approximately $5 (USFA Required)
Note: Registration closes at 9:00 AM

The trip was great... we had more fun than i'm allowed to speak of (in the open journal at least... heh heh heh.) Okay... I seemed to have confused alot of the newcomers... so here's the info your asking about:

Q: Who's "Goober" and why do you call him that?

A: "Goober" is my second cousin, his real name is Alex... but we all nicknamed him that after what his dad use to call him everytime he made a mistake. We would of stopped calling him it but he prefers the name now. so now it's stuck... kinda like me with Kyren... but that's a whole other story.


Q: Why do you suck?

A: Why do you?

Q: Do you have any pictures from the Pedernales Trip?

A: Yeah... and i'm working on getting them posted. Hopefully i'll have them up before long.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Why are you emailing the dumbest of questions?



For any more comments, critism, questions, curses... email me at chaoticgoblin@imaterrorist.com