Thoughts and Ideas... Ideas and Thoughts... Visions of a not so distant future cloud your mind....hazing out your judgement... until your nulled enough that you don't even know whether or not you still exist. Where do you go? What do you do? For what reasons are you here? Do you march onward to the future in hopes of an end? In hopes that you'll someday die?... or just to find out... whether or not your even still alive...?

(Randomized thoughts of Kyren - 03/30/2004)

Current Song: "Parabola" by Tool

yeah well... i got bored again so I finally decided to move this Q & A thing onto my own site.

(Meaningless)Questions & (Kyren's smart @ss) Answers

1. If you could build a house anywhere where would it be?
- In the sky... Preferably an Airship... (Airships rule...)

2. What's your favorite article of clothing?
- I suppose my boots... can't go wrong with good ol' combat boots...

3. Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex?
- facial features (unless that includes a mustache... chicks with mustaches just isnt right)

4. The last CD you bought?
- 'Mary Star of the Sea' by Zwan

5. Where's your least favorite place to be?
- Anywhere your at...

6. What's your favorite place to be massaged?
- shoulders / neck

7. What's most important, strong in mind or strong in body?
- Stong Mind (your sexy mine turns me on...)

8. What time do you wake up in the morning?
- Depends on what you mean by morning...

9. What's your favorite kitchen appliance?
- probably the toaster for reasons unknown

10. What makes you really angry?
- arrogant, ignorant & closeminded people... as well as being underminded.

11. If you could play an instrument, what would it be?
- I can already play many instruments... but MY FORTE IS BASS!

12. Favorite colour?
- Dark blue, vibrant red..and pitch black..

13. Which do you prefer, sports car or suv?
- sports utility i guess

14. Do you believe in afterlife?
- I have many theories about this one...

15. What is your favorite season?
- Autumn/Fall (not too cold, not to hot)

16. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
- Fire conjuring and flame manipulation (need I say more?)

17. If you have a tattoo,what is it?
- Nope no tattoo (although it's being considered)

18. Can you juggle?
- I can do sphereplay (think david bowe in the movie labyrinth)

19. Someone from your past you wish you could go back and talk to again?
- No one that I can think of...

21. What's your favorite day?
- Tuesday and/or Friday.

22. What's in the trunk of your car?
- The usual (spare tire, jack, jumper cables, a dead hooker...)

**Slams head on Keyboard**

yup... it appears to be another night of insomnia... probably due to too much going through my head... i dunno. I'll probably explain more later on.

I found it to be rather interesting how much people can actually see from a person. In my psychology class we've been doing this little "project" that we all evaluate each other for 2-3 weeks then turn give our character evaluations to that person. Here's what I got back:

Character Evaluation for Kyren

Character Strong Points:

- Loyal
- Libral
- Humble (courteous)
- Not angered easily
- Trustworthy
- Humorous
- Intellictual without "know it all" attitude
- Strategic
- Artistic
- Laid back / Lighthearted
- Outspoken
- vigilant
- independent

Character Flaws:

- Rash (when angered)
- Undescribeable anger
- Holds grudges
- Stubborn
- Sarcastic
- Easily annoyed
- Solitary
- Doesn't trust others easily
- Harsh Self Critique
- Can be too laid back at times
- Can be too Outspoken
- Can be arrogant from time to time

(if anyone has any that they wish to add just post them in the comments section)

Current Song: "Into the Darkness" by No Motiv

Assault, theft and a car crash. yup... another night of unorthodox events... and sad to say... it all ended on my front lawn. okay... i'll back track... this guy was making out with his girlfriend in his car in the parking lot of freeway manor park... four guys jump out of a white car and surround his car... forcing the doors open and proceed to beat on him. He tried to fight them off (while protecting his girlfriend in the process) and yells for help but no one comes to his aid. He bluffs his attackers saying he has a gun they all begin to scatter of foot while two take off in a white car taking his pants with them. He chases the ones on foot in his car and hits one of them with his car (a slight bump to knock him off his feet)... while the other guy keeps running... he gets out and beats the guy he hit with his car. Thinking that he has his wallet... he grabs the wallet from his pockets and leaves him bleeding on the ground and proceeds to jump in his car to chase after the others in the car. He finds them when they come back to check on their friends and chases them down theta until the guys in the white car crash into the fire hydrant in front of my house... upon hearing this big crash... I rush outside and see two guys running away... I proceed to run after them but lose them in the shadows down my street. I come back and the guy whom was chasing them starts saying that they took his money and that he doesnt have any pants... I run inside and grab a pair of pants and a flashlight. My dad and my brother then join me outside... and in the light the guy appears to have blood smeared all over his face and arm... (most of it not being his) we give him and his girlfriend some water to calm them down and have them explain their story (noted above). We called the cops but they didnt show until an hour later (damn police).. the rest of the story is just interrogation and such... the cop apparently caught one person (not sure if he was one of the suspects because I only got a glimpse of two of them) And apparently the information I got from some of my neighbors was that they evaded me by jumping thier fence off to the side of their house. (truthfully though... I dont know what I would have done if I actually caught them... but I acted in the heat of the moment.) Man... what's happening to this once quiet neighborhood... seriously... I thought the darker days have been long since pasted by now (ie: there use to be lots of gang activities and such 5 years back but everything has quieted down since then until recent events)... I refuse to let these bastards disturb the peace here.

**shakes head in disappoint**

this was way too much excitement for a tuesday night.

Current Song: "Understanding in a car crash" by Thursday

Greetings Netsurfers! Officially... I've dropped the battle of the bands projects (Strawberry Festival & Hard Rock Cafe)... to undergo practice in a hush-hush project. I'll most likely give more information about that at a later time.

I guess I forgot to post to reviews/critiques from my most recent short-film, The Hunters: 'Sins of our Youth' (aka Witch Hunter Robin project). I'm too lazy to post down all 30 comments but as far as they all go... most of the comments were along the lines:
"confusing storyplot...", "Lots of blood and fire...", "Too much effects...", "Great Job with the camera shots", "Nice Gloomy camera effects", and "Great input with the HPD police officer..." and the movie was rated (on a scale of 1-10) as a "6". Wasn't rated as good as my starwars movie (which got a "9 1/2") but I feel my skills are improving... and i really think im getting better at capturing better shots.

Well... it seems that I only have the rest of this week and all of next to practice for the fencing tournament at South Houston that will be held on April 3rd. I know... arrogance is a bad virtue to have (especially for me..) but I'm going to have to say sorry to anyone whom thinks they're going to win this coming tournament... because... i'm not going to let up on anyone... and i've trained myself to the bone enough that endurance wont be a problem for me... and to those of you whom thought my bladework was impressive the last time you saw me... you should know that i've added a minimum of 3 new styles, attacks and defenses to my arsenal of moves. My footwork has improved much since the last time you all saw me... that i'll admit... but I have resolved the problem of sprinting in and out and stealing distance (like I use to do when I made it to the summer national championships.) I wish you all the best of luck in your battle for 2nd place... for this is a "C" tournament and i'm not going to let this chance pass me by.

Current Song: "Stop" by the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

well... bowling really sucked today... I mean... I literally feel that i'm going a slight blandness for hanging around my family (not just refering to immediate family either)... even goober has unseemingly grown dull to me. I don't know... I actually feel myself yerning to leave texas... in the sence that i'm growing overly anxieous for my scheduled road trip to Cali. I know... alot of people from california would tell me its lame there as well... but we all feel that way after we've been in one place for too long... In a way... I kinda feel chained down and restricted from freedom by "my life"...(yeah...sounds weird I know..) but in my weirdo world... it actually makes sence... (bleh....I'm spacing out... ignore me!)

Current Song: "Eulogy" by Tool

Happy St. Patrick's Day & Happy Birthday Billy Corgan


well... green beer...four leaf clovers and the luck of the irish... St. Patrick's Day is truely a drinking day for all those whom are willing and able. Kinda wish I still had Abi's phone number... she's a great irish gal that's pretty fun to hang around on days like these... oh well. I'll email later once I get my stupid emails working again (damn network...) And yeah... today (Wednesday, March 17th) is the birthday of the great musical genius we've all come to know as Billy Corgan (frontman of Smashing Pumpkins & Zwan). Well... it's midnight and im NOT sh*tfaced (like usual...) well... someone has to be the "designated driver" I guess... (yet somehow it always turns out to be me)... oh well... im not big on drinking anyways... so I guess the universe equals itself out once again (la de da...) well... im done rabbling for now... laterz netsurfers!


Current Song: "Whiskey the Jar" by Metallica

Clip from movie 'Shadow of the Vampire'

yup... another dull filled day... the only highlights were... seeing my dog get his face caught in a mouse trap (the glue type... was a funny sight) and my dad going on another one of his anger sprees in which he triped over the water hose while stomping around outside.

Argh... school sucked today as well. Damn Digital Film teacher kept on repeating himself for the obvious idiots in the class whom do nothing but talk and make jokes all the time... and my production team is seriously full of too much inner arguements... that our "super fast" production rate has dramatically slowed down... argh... well... at least me and my friend jamie got some "work" done... wouldnt say that it was on the assignment that we were suppost to be working on... but we did splice scenes from the movie 'Shadow of the Vampire' to fit almost perfectly with the song 'Bullet with Butterfly wings' by the Smashing Pumpkins. (nothing better than a blood sucking billy corgan) well... as I said... today was not suprisingly a big disappointment.

Current Song: "H." by Tool

yup... today was a pretty ackward day... i'm probably making a big deal about this but I still feel a bit down everytime I see the dent in my car and the broken tail light... (it's not even that big of a dent!).... argh... i guess it might be since the meer fact of it all is.. that I havent even had that car half a year... and I already put a dent in it. (well... im just doing a bit of minor mopping... most of you all dont even want to know how I act whenever I damage/dent/scratch any of my instruments...) but whatever... life goes on... no use holding on to the tragic past.

Argh... i've got my network up and working but it won't display my email accounts or messeges... stupid thing. Hey... if anyone wants to email me... you may have to re-direct all emails to my only working email address (chaoticgoblin@imaterrorist.com)... KABOOM! Well I guess I shall end tonight's entry with one final quote...."I Really Hate Mondays..."

Current Song: "Crawl Away" by Tool

Man... guys just when I thought I was having one of the greatest days of my life... about at least two hours ago... some jerk-off tried to highjack my car. Here's the story... I was on my way home down theta street (a pretty normal routine for me...) when some guy walked out in front of my car from Freeway Manor Park... I thought nothing of it... just thought the guy was trying to cross the street... but to my amazement... when I steered my car to go around him... he stepped back right in front of me. At that second I noticed he was about 5'6-5'7 Hispanic male... wearing a pure white hat... navy blue docker style pants... and a navy blue shirt... and was carrying a big rock and what looked like a metal pipe. Another "would-be" victim told me she saw that the guy had a crowbar... and that she saw a group of guys (at least 4-6 of them)... but I only saw one... so I must've been one of the first picks of the night. Anyways... as I slowed down to stop right in front of him... he began advancing towards my car... I quickly hit my car in reverse ... and when I did that he started running after my car... I saw him prepare to hurl the rock he had... I whirled my car around... but the bastard hit one of my tail lights... and upon hitting my tail light... I reversed up a curve and ran into something (not sure what... but i plan on checking on it tomorrow during daylight...) Just to my luck... [note: sarcasm] my car got caught in a bit of a mud trap... the guy continued to rush towards my car when I hit my car into 1st gear... popped out of the mud trap... then shifted back to standard drive... and high tailed the other way going at least 40-50 mph... I drove back up to at least two blocks away from korey's house... when I decided to take off to my sister's house. I took Old Galveston road (aka Highway 4)... and got there as quickly as I could. I didn't mean to wake her but I had to check the damage and call home to make sure everyone over there was alright. I eventually got home half an hour after the incident... (with my sister following me...). As soon as I got home... I called up my brother's girlfriend Mindy (whom was driving my bro home down the same path and told them about what happened and to be careful. I waited outside with my sis until they got back... but while we waited is when I someone else stopped their car and told us to get home and be careful and described a similiar incident. I told her everything I knew about what happened and vise versa and she said she had called the police already... I thanked her and gave her one of my usual humble bows and then she left. I've been for a while keeping an eye out for people from my window... and I think these bastards are still up to it on the other side of the park... because ive seen cars driving the immediately stop and reverse and evade down a near by steet in haste... I dunno... i'll post a pic of the damages to my car (minor damages... but Im still quite pissed about it though)... I'm going back to my eagle eye position for a little bit longer... i'll post more if anything else happens.

Current Song: "What if" by Creed

well... today has been more of a productive day... I finally got the red truck running again... until I realized it was out of gasoline... oh well... it starts.... that's all that matters right? man this sucks... im all sore still from playing paintball... argh... I feel tired and feeble like an old man.

On another more important note... I seriously feel bad for everyone in the band Edgebrook that has to put up with James' sh*t. Don't get me wrong... I have nothing personal against Edgebrook... but music wise... they're pretty lame... but that's a different story for a different time. I'm talking about how James claims to "own" the band and is hording out on the rest of his bandmates... me not being in their band... he would probably argue that I have no say in it... but I seriously think it's f*cked up how he treats everyone in the band. Get this... at the last couple of performances... Edgebrook earned at least $80 (give or take)... but James took $60 of it for himself and gave about $20 of it to be divided amongst the rest of the band...(although money shouldn't be an issue... that's still messed up) and alot of pretty talented vocalist and musicians offered to join their band... but James turned them down... specifically... there was this one vocalist/trumpet player that seriously kicks @ss (hell...he puts me to shame in both vocals and trumpet) but James turned him down because he claims that "that guy joining wasn't best for Edgebrook"... now seriously though... that is just some sh*t... because James is the current lead guitarist and vocalist of Edgebrook... but I've seen others wanting to join who would make him look like an amateur... course... I myself am not the type of person to dump anyone from my band for someone "better" but the faces of Edgebrook have been changed so many times already because of James and now I see that he must fear getting thrown out himself. Now I dont care whether he stays in or not... but Im just trying to convince Matt, John, Troy, Razo or somebody in that band to stand up to James... because James has to be a freakin leader man... he constantly says Edgebrook is his... but he does nothing to help benefit the band outside of forced practices... and this whole hording deal has to stop... I know Edgebrook's affairs are none of my business but I can only stand by so much longer and watch my friends get treated like sh*t before I myself will force a confrontation out of him... GROW SOME F*CKING BALLS GUYS! Deal with him before I have to...

Quote of the Day:

"Have you ever seen a Super Nova explode before?... No... but if it's anything like my Chevy Nova...it'll light the night sky...."


Current Song: "Democracy" by Nine Inch Nails

heh... weird the last post i put on here posted but didn't publish... i'm guessing I only hit the "post" button and not the "publish and post" one. Oh well... playing paintball today felt great... everyone that showed up consisted of me, marcus, damien, matthew, troy, patrick, britney, johnathan, phillip and some other guy... (I didn't get his name... but he works at golf & games with marcus and damien.) When ammos flying at ya... all your problems go right out the window... and your left with only one mind set: "Kill or be killed". The field wasn't too bad... but lets just say most of it (not all) consisted wildly grown out and very thick brush (which made it hard to move through)... there were a couple of junked objects (shopping carts, barrels, a bicycle, and othe miscellanous stuff) that we eventually used to make shelters/bunkers out of... and that made the game even more intense. As far as things went... the first couple games were nothing more than guerrilla skirmishes... I won captured the flag during the second "flag game"... the other two "flag games" ended in draws... once we started playing "fox and the hound" (which is basically the 2 best verse the rest...) and man... sure the best lost... but I didnt expect to take down so many people... and the final two games we played was "brush run"... (we did marine style guerrilla warfare in the heavy brush) my team consisting of me, damien and phillip .... but we got pinned down and eventually surrendered because marcus got a barrel tap on damien...john took out phillip... and marcus hit me with a head shot. The final game... I scouted off away from the team to get the suprise attack but got pinned down by troy but damien saved ny @ss by sniping him... patrick jumped out and unloaded on damien... but I took him out quickly... but right at that very moment john launched a suprise attack and took down damien while i ran for best sufficient cover... meanwhile phillip got into a shoot out with john.... i came around the side for the flank... and john walked right into my trap... totally focused on phillip... I began taking timed shots at john but missed alot due to the low heavy brush... phillp moved in closer ... distracting john from my position then I moved into a clear view and took him out with two shots to the back. Heh... war is fun... well.. im heading out for the rest of the day... so i'll catch you all laterz!


Thought of the Day:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300*C.

The Russians used a pencil...


Current Song: "Born to be wild" by Steppenwolf

Totally weird... I haven't the slightest idea what is wrong with me as of late... I awoke this morning after having a dream about johanna. In the dream... I was walking down some hallways of some unknown building... until I came upon one certain door... there was nothing important to be noted about this door... it was a plain as could be. But it seemed like I knew why I was there...while in reality I didnt. I knocked on the door twice... until my ex-girlfriend johanna answered it... a brief description of what she looked like in my dream: she stood there with pitch black hair long enough to touch her shoulders, very dark blue/purple eye-shadow, bold black glasses, black lipstick, black nail polish... a black longsleeve collar shirt.. long black skirt, black combat boots and what appeared to be silverish glitter on her skin.

back to the dream... upon answering the door... she made a big smile with a slight "hey" muffled under her breathe... I proceeded to give her my usual slight greetings bow (i.e. a slight forward tilt of my head...) after the the greetings... she slightly proclaimed "I missed you"... unknowningly my right hand took her left... and the next thing I knew we were kissing... then a hug. During the hug... I remember asking her something about if she was ready go... (not exactly sure where) and she said "sure". Our hands connected again and we proceeded back down the hallway from which I first came... (i've already began to anticipate that the hallways were either part of an apartment complex or motel/hotel of some sort... still not exactly sure about it though) But as we got halfway down the hallway... I remember hearing a gun shot from behind me... as I turned to see where the shot came from... the area around began to fade and grow very dark and dim. At that very second... the only thing rushing through my mind... was shawney for some reason... I ran back down the hallway as fast as I could... but to open a door to an empty room... as I turned back to see where johanna was... the hallway was empty... and an eerie dead silence filled the corridors... I entered the empty room... with no idea of what to expect... on the floor... I saw a bloody rose lying right in the middle of the room. As got on one knee and reached down to pick it up... suddenly from behind me.. I heard the cocking of a pistol... then I woke to sound of my alarm clock at the exact timing the gunshot would have gone off. *sigh*...

After looking back on my life... i've just barely noticed that all my breakups resulted because of me... *sigh* ...and now... I have a great girl... my fira... but I hardly feel like I even deserve her... all im going to do is end up hurting her... *sigh* ...i've already hurt too many people... so many... that from time to time... i have trouble sleeping at night... as well as concentrating during the day. I need to get away from it all... i've tried easing this burden by writing down my emotions... and i've even tried burying myself in projects... but nothing seems to ease my pain anymore. 19-20 years old.... and i've already lived more of a life than most people ever do... I have experienced the extreme good and especially the horrid bad.... no one for my age should ever have to live through what ive experienced.

*sigh*... for as long as I can remember... i haven't the slightest clue as to why... but I dread the coming December of 2012... I have a weird feeling about it... not sure whether im suppost to fear it or im suppost to embrace it... but I have this heavy feeling that during the later days of that december... my life will change... whether for better or worse... is to be determinded by time. I'm no grand oracle... and hardly ever have these kinds of rash feelings... but whenever I do... so far... i've been right 3 for 3.


Current Song: "A Night Like This" by The Cure

Greetings everyone... i know it's been a while since i've written an actual post. I'm having trouble getting online lately... but i'm trying to pop in as often as possible which is generally only for 5 minutes at a time... but i'm still getting around to keeping my mail box from getting filled. Yeah... i'm on Spring break already... while everyone else gets next week off... pasadena is weird like that i guess. well... thus far... the only thing I have planned for this week is that a couple of friends and I are going to go play paintball on wednesday. We've declared it an experienced game only... but we may play another game to let a couple of newbies join in with us sometime later on during the week or possibly on the weekend. (no guarantees... sorry)... well... i've run out of things to rant about for now so laterz surfers!


Current Song: "Degenerated" by Regan Youth / The Lone Rangers

The Inner Dragon Quiz
brought to you by Dragonhame.com

In the war between good and evil, Crimson Dragons take the side of the noble and good....
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos....

As far as magical tendancies, a Crimson Dragon's nature does not lend itself well to the ways of Magic....
During combat situations, whether by spells or by claw, your inner dragon will do whatever it takes to get the job done....
Crimson dragons are closely related to red dragons. They are nearly identical in appearance to reds. Aside from the brighter red scales and some minor facial differences, the only appreciable difference is the black throat of the crimson dragon.'

At greater distances, crimson dragons appear identical to red dragons. Unlike most dragons, the scales of a crimson dragon change little in color throughout their lives. They stay a bright crimson red from birth to old age.'
While crimson dragons resemble red dragons in appearance, their temperament and outlook on life are quite different. While they still tend to hoard treasure, Crimson dragons take the side of good during conflicts between good and evil. A crimson dragon's worst enemy is the evil red dragon, who give them a bad reputation. Combat between the two types are relatively common, and, assuming the combatants are of roughly the same age, these fights are usually quite evenly matched.
'
This Dragons favorite elements are: Roses, Emeralds, and Bravery

heh... pretty funny... I just received two invitations for the New Moon Insanity and the Great Teddy Bear Murders to perform at the Pasadena Strawberry Festival. I guess I should inform them that both of those bands have disbanded and the possiblity of them getting back together in time for the festival is very unlikely. The problems are as follows:
- Guillermo moved to California (New Moon Insanity)
- Lost contact with johanna & carlos since the beginning of the year (Great Teddy Bear Murders)

I'm considering forming another band just to play the festival... but i'm not definite on that idea. Two months is enough to learn a bust load of covers and maybe 1-2 originals... but i see no reason to go out of my way to make such an effort.

In other news...I finished my "Witch Hunter Robin" project already... and it looks very cheezy and kinda crappy... (kinda like the starwars one we made) but it still looks semi-kool. Personally i've done better work... I'll see if I can post up some pics and movie samples from the short-film but I think I won't be able to get those up for at least a good while... besides... I wouldn't want to give away the movie's edge before we unveil it for class critism. Not sure what i'll do for my next project... but all I know is... i'm going to need to buy a new camera... grrr... I need to raise a minimum of $500 bucks for my own camera.... bleh. I mean literally... during shooting... the loner digital video camera we used kept on blurring out street lights and wasn't capturing all the scenes we did due to the gloomy lighting we had (couldnt change it or it would kill the whole effect...) but it made good fades when we filmed the intro that included Houston's skyline. But I'm just too much of a perfectionist... the film might be better than I say... I guess i'll just have to wait for the critism day from my digital film class.

You belong in the world of darkness
and are a part of the despair.


You belong in the land of darkness, otherwise known
as one of the worlds in which I dwell. All here
is beauty inspired by tragedy and great sorrow.
Write or go through other creative outlets to
express the anguish you may be feeling, and
never let anyone tell you that you are just
being 'weepy' or full of 'teenage angst'(if
you're a teenager.If not, then they really
should be punished for calling you one. They
probably are trying to insult your
maturity...fools.)and always remain yourself,
dark and amazing. Never change.


Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla


Quote of the Day: "...well we could drop you off but we wont!... its a spaceship... not a bloody limo for a high school prom... if anyone needs me i'll be in the angery dome..."



Current Song: "Take the reins" by Tsunami Bomb